My Pesky Root Chakra

It has come to my attention that I have a faulty root chakra. The root chakra, as I’ve recently learned is the energy center between your tail bone and genitals. It is considered the 1st of 7 chakras, is symbolized by the colour red, and makes eating potatoes (and other root vegetables) a priority. I’m not entirely sure if mine is over-active (unlikely), under-active, blocked or just plain old imbalanced, but I’ve just learnt that it needs some attention. How do I know this you ask? Well, here it goes.. I am uncovering the level of insecurity that I have as a human on this earth. As in, I have such a real issue taking up the 5”5’ of vertical space I have been given on this earth and it is becoming increasingly clear that I just don’t feel worthy standing on my assigned square foot (area, not misshaped feet).
I’ve taken this issue to such an extent that I have an irrational fear of sink holes. I feel like it’s more possible that the earth will suddenly swallow me up on an idle Tuesday in an exceptional show of bad luck than me being here, on earth, for a reason. I feel like such a waste of space that I have been unconsciously willing myself to disappear. It’s definitively insane.
As far as I can tell these are the four main markers of improper root chakra management:


  • – Poor decision making. (All day. The more trivial the decision, the more trouble I have making it. ‘What do you want to eat’ is one of my most feared questions. “Worms. I’ll take the worms.”
  • – Insecurity. Please see above re: irrational sink-hole fear.
  • – Anxiety.  Please see above re: insecurity re: irrational sink-hole fear.
  • – Detachment. Does this take into account my complete denial of feeling? My suppression of feeling is faster than the speed of light. I was truly convinced I wasn’t equipped with feeling at one point.


  • – A general feeling of not being ‘supported’ in life. Financially or otherwise.
My confirmation of diagnoses came from an online quiz where I answered ‘yes’ to 19 out of 30 of signs that I have root chakra issues. I chalked up ‘yes’ answers to questions that asked if I felt insecure about my financial situation, if I have an increased interest in going to farmers markets and if my legs fall asleep a lot. Albeit, questions 15 and 30 were the exact same question about being unsure of career path and general life direction to which I felt it appropriate to count both  ‘yes’’ (yesses, yes’s?) which is indicative of the enormity of that bundle of confusion.
Fixing ones pesky root chakra:
After plenty of dedicated internet research, I have ascertained the following as potential solutions to my below-the-belt issue.
1. Putting ones root chakra on the ground to literally and figuratively ground. This is something I’ve been doing every day whilst meditating, as well as putting my bare feet on the ground/grass. I must say that I thoroughly enjoy this.
2. Eating root vegetables. Easy. Peasy.
3. Stomping ones feet. Or as I like to put a theatrical twist on it: tap. The world has been nudging me back to tapping which is fine with me. Over my dead body first, is tap a dying art. Apparently this reminds us of how we are supported on earth.
4. Wearing (sexy) red underwear. Don’t ask. Just do.
5. Squeezing buttocks & everything below the navel whilst breathing… I’ll report back.
2 week root-chakra re-tune update:
Well today as i sat down to meditate, i did feel like the ground ‘felt’ different under my bum. Maybe the ground was just super hard, maybe my undies were less cushioned than usual. I’ve found myself craving food that I’ve later looked up and found to be considered helpful for root chakra issues. I’m gonna be honest and say I haven’t tried the squeeze and breathe once. And I am pushing forward with living my life as if I am 100% safe and secure and what credit card debt? Also, since when did tap classes become about who can shuffle their feet around the fastest?… Still trying to find a decent tap class…
Love boofi x

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